something to think about.

i had a conversation today that really struck a chord...i'm sure e.benson wasn't trying to be all insightful & shizz but he said something that made sense to me.

and it goes a little something like this...

i'm almost positive i'm going to eff up the paraphrasing, but stick with me here. we were talking about dating & relationships and how i'm not really wanting a bf, but if the 'right one' came along i'd be totally open to that. but that i also don't put myself out there & i'm afraid to talk to boys...which sort of hinders the whole dating thing. hee hee. hey! i'm shy! around boys! seriously! unbelievable, i know.

what was i talking about?!? damn, get to the point ali, right? okay!!! sheesh.

erik said that while we wait for the right person to come along, magically, without any effort, we don't do that with other aspects of our lives, like jobs that we want, or taking the initiative to eat better & exercise more...which is so true! and i also noted that people sort of make you feel bad if you say that you are looking to date. like you're a loser for voicing the feelings that 97.6% of all the other single people out there have! and i think that is especially true if you're a girl, believe it or not. because there is still some weird stigma attached to girls who go after what they want. it's such a double standard, because if i asked a boy out, i'd be sort of desperate. but if he asked me out, he would just be interested! damn.

i've been more or less single (although not ready to date) for over a year & a half. i want to go on a date. with a boy. that i actually like. that has a brain & likes music & is reeeeally funny/witty/sarcastic & can deal with the fact that i watch laguna beach sans irony & if he has medium-length hair that would be a plus. but not one that i want as a bf, necessarily. i'm all about the fun right now. is that so bad?