on being just friends.
there seems to be a running theme through my personal/relationship life where either a) i want to be "just friends" with a boy or b) they want to be "just friends" with me. usually it's the second one though. i'm not quite sure why this happens. and i know that it happens to everyone and i should just stop whining. but it's getting kind of annoying!!!
i'm not lacking in confidence, but it certainly is a blow to one's ego when this sort of thing occurs repeatedly. it's hard not to think "if i'm so great, then why don't you want to date me?!?" because if i were really that great, i'd be fighting off the boy attention with a big ol' stick, right?
i also seem to meet boys, with any sort of potential, that live in other cities, states, or countries. this perplexes me. there HAS to be a boy in SF that has similar characteristics and/or a similar personality as these long-distance crushes. i think god is playing a cruel joke on me or something. or maybe i'm really not ready like i think i am?
i'm a firm believer in the cosmos aligning and providing opportunities when they are meant to happen - not just for relationships, but for jobs (like my current gig), friendships (hi. i have kick ass friends!), living situations (i love my apt/roomie), etc. now that everything else in my life has, for the most part, fallen into place, it's this whole stupid boy thing that keeps irking me. but there is nothing i can do to really change my situation, and all i can do is be myself. i've worked long & hard on liking myself over the past two years - i'm not about to change anything about who i am to please someone else! awwww yeah!!! ha.
when i die i think my headstone is going to read "you're awesome. you're great. you're cute/funny/smart/fun. BUT..."
yep.
i'm not lacking in confidence, but it certainly is a blow to one's ego when this sort of thing occurs repeatedly. it's hard not to think "if i'm so great, then why don't you want to date me?!?" because if i were really that great, i'd be fighting off the boy attention with a big ol' stick, right?
i also seem to meet boys, with any sort of potential, that live in other cities, states, or countries. this perplexes me. there HAS to be a boy in SF that has similar characteristics and/or a similar personality as these long-distance crushes. i think god is playing a cruel joke on me or something. or maybe i'm really not ready like i think i am?
i'm a firm believer in the cosmos aligning and providing opportunities when they are meant to happen - not just for relationships, but for jobs (like my current gig), friendships (hi. i have kick ass friends!), living situations (i love my apt/roomie), etc. now that everything else in my life has, for the most part, fallen into place, it's this whole stupid boy thing that keeps irking me. but there is nothing i can do to really change my situation, and all i can do is be myself. i've worked long & hard on liking myself over the past two years - i'm not about to change anything about who i am to please someone else! awwww yeah!!! ha.
when i die i think my headstone is going to read "you're awesome. you're great. you're cute/funny/smart/fun. BUT..."
yep.
posted by ali. at 7:35 PM
6 Comments:
ah, the musings of spangley... you know that boys are just as finiky & fearful as we females when it comes to starting something that might be for real (the alternative being, just for fun) and for most, erring on the side of caution has not yet proofed fatal. Whereas many of us have experienced the 'friend lost' scenerio.
PS- You epitaph is better than my proposed one.
Miguel promises that mine will read something like this:
"No really. I'm going to stop talking now."
1) I am not going to say, "the timing is off" because people said that to me when a rel'p didn't work out and it pissed me off because, if I totally was into a person the fucking timing wouldn't matter.
2) Boys in SF SUCK ASS. There I said it. They are pathetic, wussy, crumbly, indecisive, weak mama's boys that can't get their shit together. West Coast Men stink, and if they have been here longer than 1.5 years they are never reverting back to their sensible East Coast/Midwest ways.
3) There are too many choices here for these wussy men. They don't need be in a rel'p because there are 800 other eligible women who will put up with "friends" and/or worse status.
4) YOU ARE SO AWESOME. and I totally feel you. Go foreign. That's what I did. ha!
don't settle for less, woman. you're awesome & you're going to know it when a man sees you for the kick ass girl that we all do! (often they'll love you even more than we do, so that's going to be a lot! :p)
any boy who hurts my ali.... LEMME AT'IM! *fists*
i love you girl and i think the world of you. this is just one little "lesson"... don't give up. :)
girls!!! you all ROCK and i love you BIG TIME! this is why i don't really care about stupid, wussy boys - i have totally rawktacular girlfriends who love me for me!!! wheeeeee!
buzz! take heart- because who will be accompanied by three very loverly ladies in but two short weeks to the willie nelson show @ the fillmore?
uh, i think it's YOU!!! hahaha.
but thanks for the commiseration. ;)
Yep, I can relate too!
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